Touch My Belly Has Moved, Changed Direction.

I have a new project...

Touch My Insides

IMG_6504.JPG, originally uploaded by gboomski.

Just looking at this gives me that feeling where some one is diddling the bonch of my soul. The girl is almost two knuckles deep. Looks like a reverse prostate exam. Pretty sure I farted shortly after, and I dont feel the slightest bit surprised or embarrassed about that.

Size Comparison

IMG_6764.JPG, originally uploaded by gboomski.

Tiny Tina took a pic with
bearded boy who bared his belly!

Eh...Thats all I got on this one.

Le Circle Game

IMG_6715.JPG, originally uploaded by gboomski.

Two things: This is the first time I've had a head-to-belly touch. AND, if you happen to be playing the circle game with that gentleman in the black shirt, then he totally gets to punch you right now. As a veteran of the circle game, I've become skilled at the "pretend I didn't see that circle-hand and look off to the right" maneuver (see pic above).

Riiiiiight!?

IMG_6495.JPG, originally uploaded by gboomski.

I like using my mind to make it so that it's the guy in the green shirt that's reaching around and cupping my breast. That makes this picture for me. The white hat also betrays my gangsta name, which is "Candy Candy." It's Candy for short but you can't call me that anyway so this information is useless to you.

Another Face Thing

"My butt make flippy" by Gideon Boomer (photo: T Bone)

thats a lot of red nails on the belly for Gideon. Cant really look at this one for very long. Man, thats a gay face. It's not even fruity or effeminate. It's just a face that a gay man might want to make much more than I would.

...Huh. It's really quite complex. I just spent about a minute trying to make that face and I'm not even close to the nuance we see here. This expression requires talent AND drive. Go ahead, get a reflective surface and try it, then compare to the picture. It's fucking hard to do.

Stephan Urkelle

"I think I'm Making That Face Cause Her Hand was Cold" by Gideon Boomer (photo: 3 Davis)

Extra points for tv personality. Extra EXTRA points for black guy. Trust me, it's harder to make this happen than it looks. Thanks to every one who helped, especially the nymph in the hat. Also, I did not give him that money.

There's Always One

"Two People with Arms Not Long Enough" by Gideon Boomer (photo: J. Dolman)

The big group shots always involve one person touching the junk. It's like, "I don't want to touch any actual skin so I prefer to touch this piece of denim that's really close to where his pee comes out."

Finger Talk

"Spocker and Sharker are also personal favorites" by Gideon Boomer (photo: T-Bone)

Im trying to give the finger in order to counteract the crassity of the shocker from the gentleman in the cap. Overlooking its meaning, the finger is the most civilized hand-gesture I can think of (besides your standard wave).

God, this was back when my beard still let me have a mouth. Crazy.

Search the Archives for "Lick"

"Girl on the left wanted me to email this picture to her. I said I would do it 5 months ago" by Gideon Boomer (photo: T-Boner)

This is how it goes sometimes, with the licking. Better than biting, I've learned. I guess, when you're toasted, my belly looks as appetizing as one of those giant Mickey lollipops they sell on the path leading to Toontown.

And by the way, the belly lick/bite is officially the ONLY circumstance where a girl has heard a request of mine and offered to up the ante just for kicks. While that last sentence may be my murkiest of 2007 so far, that makes it a special circumstance indeed. Gratitude emoted.

Associations

"Should have spelled it "POOOWAAH!" by Gideon Boomer

Not quite sure why, but I'm looking at this pic and I keep thinking of that part at the beginning of Back to the Future part II where the guys are all, "HEY McFLY you bozo, Hoverboards don't work on water unless you have POWER hahahahahah!"

I guess for me this picture works as an interpretive pantomime for that moment. Something about Marty's longing for power over that water, stoic but intense in the face of what appears to be a random act of aggression. That and the pastel shirt really cap it off. Basically, If you want to remind me of Back to the Future part II, just show me some needless pinks.

Belly Trauma Leads to Belly Vacation

"Chick Behind Me's Got Mean Calves, Oh Yeah and I Quit." by Gideon Boomer

I got bit in October 2006. I got bit hard. I've been bit hard before, on my belly no less, and its been fine. This one broke the skin (think hot-dog-casing snap), and my pain-badassedness instantly gave way to my attachment to hygiene.

The picture actually caught the moment my attitude about TMB went from "I'm a silly guy with a funny project!" to "What the fuck am I doing letting strangers touch me like this what if she has something of course this would happen I need to get a job where I wear a grey suit and drink red wine from primed glasses at business meetings with foreign investors and argue charmingly for an hour over who gets to pay the check and then go to sleep that night congratulating myself on that funny comment I made during dessert."

So, TMB went on an unplanned vacation. No pictures, no posts, almost four months. But hey, if you went to Disneyland every day, it just wouldn't be as peak an experience. I'm down to start this tomfoolery again.

Oh yeah, and I resolved to try and bring Disneyland into every analogy I design for 2007.

City Belly

"What Color Are Those Boxers? The Color of Raw Power You Say?" by Gideon Boomer (photo: N. Altman)

This Touch My Belly was taken in NYC, where it seems people don't have time to face cameras. The guy on the right, in the white shirt, wasn't even there for the pitch. He was just walking by when the camera clicked and figured he'd do what every one else was doing. He was my favorite part of the experience. Yellow Skirt Lady is disqualified on the grounds that she's clearly touching her friend's hand and not my belly. Photoshopic punishment suggestions are welcome.

I'm usually opposed to this kind of anonymity with regard to belly touching, but it seems to fit here with the Newyorkiness. Like, "I DO have a sense of humor thank you but I certainly don't have time to have one on YOUR terms Belly Man! Look around you! The city calls! Hustlebustlehustlebustle..."

Or something like that.

Hmmmmf

"Faaaaace" by Gideon Boomer

I've seen a lot of statues and Asian prints with that face, but this is the first real one I've encountered. I also feel like this blog could be called "Comments on Faces" almost as much as "Touch My Belly."

TwOT

"I was actually trying to get the fruity dude standing behind me" by Gideon Boomer (photo: T-Bone)

Wow. A simple googling, in an effort to dechipher this gentleman's shirt, has opened a whole Sponge-Bob-shaped piñata of possiblities. I could find no specific references to the acronym "TwOT" as it is capitalized here, but the "twot" acronym in general seems to be fairly common. The full text of the shirt reads, "will work for TwOT."

TWOT could stand for the following:

-The war On Terror
-Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament
-Total waste of...

...Wait. Wait, I totally just figured it out. "Time without Over Time." It's gotta be "time without over time." Right, duh.

Aww, Homeboy's got a stance on labor laws!

Underoos

"Power Crotch Hammock" by Gideon Boomer (photo: T-Bone)

This seems like a lot of underwear to be sitting atop my belt, even for me. And yes, I wear that pair of boxers a lot. They're my power boxers. Name one item in your closet that's HOT ORANGE that you wear at least once a week. See? That's why your power's been missing.

You Don't Look Like You, You Look Like That Other Guy

"I'm Not Drinking Water Cause I'm Thirsty" by Gideon Boomer (photo: Z. Levy)

Does Penn Jillette have a brother? Maybe a cousin? This guy looks very much to me like a relative of Penn Jillette. He sure knows how to touch a belly. I don't get enthusiasm like this very often.

Hey, Easy on Him, He's a Musician

"Acrostitastic!" by Gideon Boomer (photo: R. Davis)

Part of me wants to
Ignore the obvious, even
Though it's right there in front of me.

Still,
There
Are other things to comment on,
Including, um, that girl's
Noticeably
Silly posture.

A First: The Hair Tug

"The Limp Bizkit Test" by Gideon Boomer

The Rainbow Room in LA is an excellent place to put on a gay sweater and take pictures with aspiring groupies. Don't let her ring fool you, this girl is just trying to filter out the riff-raff that have morals and character.

I mean, I think I'm just trying to be mean, because she's tugging at my belly hair and it fucking hurts and she's waaaaay not hot enough to get away with that without me slingin some poopy her way.

Hahahah....poopy. Okay fine it's a good picture.

El Handsomo

"If Your Penis Could Talk, I'd be a Little Creeped-Out, but I Would Still Listen to Those Awesome Play-by-Plays" by Gideon Boomer (photo: Z. Levy)

This guy is cool. He's modeled in underwear and been on some TV stuff and dates a very beautiful movie star, and he's still all about my project. Most of the celebrities I've asked have been all like, "Uh, no." Or, "Yeah, I can't do that." But dude gave me a double hand touch, for which I was very appreciative.

Which reminds me, will someone please tell Eve that no one cares if she takes a stupid picture with some stupid guy for his stupid project? That if the solicitation should somehow occur again, that she should totally get off her ruff rydin' high horse and touch my belly? Thank you. I totally feel better.